Tag Archives: Roma Fricosu

8 Martie

#8martie #ziua #internationala #a #femeii

In ajun de 8 martie si iarasi cu telefonul spart, nu pot sa nu observ cat de superficiala devin cateodata. Si desi ma lupt enorm sa imi pastrez autenticitatea si principiile sanatoase cu care am fost crescuta si educata…i’m only human. Normal ca uneori cad prada ispitelor de zi cu zi.
Cad prada consumerismului, ma incatusez uneori cu frustrari, ma compar involuntar cu unele standarde (imaginare) pe care media le impune.
Mi-aduc aminte de anul 2005. Nu aveam nici 18 ani impliniti si am convins-o pe mama sa ma lase sa ma mut la Bucuresti, singura… eram in clasa a 11-a. Eram pe cale sa semnez un contract cu o casa de productie. Foarte entuziasmati de vocea mea, de creatiile mele.
Am facut pasul imediat. Avand o “istorie curata” in fata mamei si fiind mai mult decat independenta de la o varsta la care altele se jucau inca cu papusile, intr-o luna am fost mutata cu catel si purcel la Bucuresti. Gazda in buricul targului langa Cercul Militar, admisa la liceul Spiru Haret (mega in voga la vremea aia), ce sa mai …”libertate, frate…poate facultate”.
Si hop, vine ziua semnarii contractului cu “the big boss”, care nu ma intalnise inca personal…si cu…un struto-camila de antrenor/nutritionist. Si ce sa vezi… big boss se sfatuieste cu struto-camila ala de parca era mai ceva ca nesuferitul ala de la Britain’s got talent.
Si dupa cum se vorbira si sfatuira… au ajuns ei la concluzia ca trebuie, citez “sa foram (as in drill) in suncile astea inainte sa incepem sa cantam!” Hai sa moara ma-ta, zau???
Asta in ideea in care cantaream cu vreo 10 kg mai PUTIN ca acuma, dar in 2005 daca nu erai piele si os, eventual bulimica, anorexica, erai grasa!
La 17 ani cand ti se spune asta… dezvolti multe complexe si frustrari. In cazul meu, s-au dezvoltat inconstient, caci in plan constient sunt mult prea nesimtita 🙂))
Acuma nu stiu daca a fost coincidenta sau nu, dar studiourile lor au luat foc dupa vreo cateva saptamani si nu aveau nici asigurare. Jur ca n-am niciun amestec:))))) voodoo n-am facut!
Am ramas cu muzica la nivel amator. Au urmat ani plini de alte si alte aventuri, de urcusuri si coborasuri atat spiritual cat si pe cantar 🙂) am avut oscilatii si de peste 20 kg (si nu in timpul sarcinii:))
In toti anii care au urmat m-am luptat zi de zi cu mine. De la ambitie la resemmare, de la acceptare la provocare, am trecut prin toate, incercand sa gasesc un echilibru intre toti factorii care imi definesc viata.
Fiecare an a adus cu el cate-o caramida in plus la bagajul meu emotional.
Dar am avut noroc de o educatie foarte sanatoasa in copilarie. Am avut ca model o femeie puternica. Care o bate la cur oricand pe Xena- la propriu. O femeie nebuna de legat care a intors lumea pe dos de fiecare data cand a crezut ca trebuie s-o scuture nitel. Mamaie. THE Mamaie! Si pe ea durut-o fix in flocu’ drept cat a cantarit. Ce-i adevarat, a dat-o-n diabet dupa 50 ani… dar il tine sub control, e ok. A slabit, stie sa manance echilibrat, are schema facuta de mine pe frigider, isi ajusteaza singura dozele de insulina… real bad @ass 🙂
Si m-a crescut cu ideea asta ca, noi, femeile, facem lumea sa se invarteasca. Ea m-a “empowered” o viata 🙂 tot ce isi pune femeia aia in cap, reuseste, nenica! Secretul ei? Munca multa si rabdare! Agoniseala! De toate felurile posibile! Cateodata ea o duce la extreme. Noroc ca l-am pe tataie contrabalans, de la care am invatat sa ma bucur de micile placeri ale vietii! De o friptura suculenta, de un vin bun, de o siesta bine meritata.
Toate lucrurile astea au inceput sa iasa la iveala undeva dupa varsta de 25 de ani…nah…am avut si eu odrasla la randul meu, plus ca…am ajuns intr-o alta lume, o alta mentalitate. Aici in Franta nu prea a contat cum arat ci ceea ce stiu sa fac. La Paris mi-am regasit vocea, la propriu si la figurat, si dupa multa munca si agoniseala, si rabdare, am ajuns in 2015, 10 ani mai tarziu si 10 kg in plus, sa fac din muzica o meserie full time!
Cum? Pai, am incetat sa ma uit in oglinda si sa-mi vad “defectele”. Ma reeduc sa-mi admir atuurile. Si fiecare slabiciune sa mi-o transform intr-un as din maneca. Am mai spus-o…daca viata iti da doar lamai, nu fa doar limonada, mai baga si un limoncello, o tarta cu lamaie, un sapun, o apa de colonie, tot ce poti!
Da, ma mai loveste cate-un greu al vietii val gen…telefon furat, telefon spart, si iar telefon spart. Si ma apuca si pe mine ofticile pt lucrurile materiale sau lucrurile de suprafata.
Dar apoi ma trezesc repede…si imi dau seama ca asta inseamna doar ca te ia oleaca valul, in niciun caz nu te loveste in fata!
Eventual, plutesti nitel in deriva, dar cu siguranta nu te ineci!
Care e luxul zilelor noastre? Ei, asta e alta poveste intr-o alta zi😘
Femeie, ramai pe baricade!

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I’m ALIVE!

Yes, I am alive!

Indeed, I am alive, maybe for the first time in life I really feel alive! It’s been a looong time since I’ve felt the need to write down my thoughts, but as I had stated in the first place, writing was my auto- therapy. Let’s say I haven’t felt the need for therapy for the past few months… like…since …last September, I think…

Maybe you wonder why! I’ll tell but not right away because so many thing have happened in my life that I don’t even know how to start. Remember my summertime? Well, I think you do, since it’s been my best viewed post 🙂 That gave me a lot of confidence, my great summertime and all the changes that came after that.

Ok, I’m not gonna push your patience: I became a singer! A payed one! A real one! Like in….people pay me to sing for them!! With real money, not monopoly money nor invisible money! People actually pay ME to sing for them! Hope the IRS doesn’t read this :)))))) ( dear IRS, I dream a lot, don’t take me serious) :))))

It all started with a desire! MY DESIRE! the desire to do what I want, to be in front of a public, expressing myself through music! So, after a marathon of WEEDS and Modern Family I started to take things very seriously! I began forming a REPERTOIRE, mostly of Romanian Folklore and Traditional music, two genres I had never thought to perform! But this was my rope, remember the rope from my previous posts? If not, get your ass reading! So I knew I could have a chance with traditional music because our Romanian Community here in France is enlarging every day, and of course we get married here, we baptize our children here, we celebrate our anniversaries here, and it’s our custom to have live singers for our celebrations and I may say that there is quite a demand. Practically I knocked at some doors… literally… where I knew they collaborate with singers.. After some unopened doors from the French side, I began knocking at Romanian doors… and guess what… it opened… and this is how everything began… with one open door at a Romanian restaurant… and my intuition told me to knock at the best door, so I went straight to THE top Romanian restaurant in Paris… and apparently I was exactly what they needed 🙂 MAKTUB! Right person in the right place at the right moment! When it’s written to happen, it will happen!

You will never guess what happened. The more I began discovering my traditional Romanian music, the more I fell in love with this genre of music, a music that I had never had the patience to understand, the capacity of penetrating beneath its simple yet powerful lyrics. I knew I have reached that age of understanding life in a different manner. Our folklore speaks about that simple and happy life! It speaks of love, of nature, of faith… of a life surrounded by family, sharing all that God has given you.

One thing led to another and private parties turned into public shows, public shows into live concerts, from restaurants to theaters and even big open air scenes like Festival of Europe where I had the honor to represent Romania last Sunday (may 22nd). Let me put it this way… I haven’t had an weekend off since the beginning of the year – my official launch was for the NYE party 🙂

I really can’t describe you my big start. It’s only the beginning and I realize I’ve climbed my rope so high that I can see a lot from above. There is a hell of a way until I will reach the top, but I will get some day! The most important thing is that I grabbed my rope…and, boy…I’m holding to it like my life would depend on it!

Yes, it’s hard, and yes, you gotta do great sacrifices…and YES, they will try to pull you down…every single day! And you might get “bullied” and you might get hit, but like my old friend Rocky Balboa said… “it doesn’t matter how hard you hit, but how hard you can get hit and still go on…” Here’s to you, Balboa!

But you learn to deal with everything, as long as you keep your faith and self confidence. Nourish yourself with the positive sides and don’t even pay attention to negativity! Close your eyes in front of the evil and it will disappear. Open your heart for all the Good to come to you and your hungry soul will receive the light. Then follow that light and share it with the rest of the world!

Create your own circle of happiness! And happiness will always come back!

TO BE CONTINUED

 

 

 

 

 


Who wants Champagne?

One of my guilty pleasures in life is… obviously… champagne. Why? More than the good taste, it gives me the feeling of royalty. You know how we always open a bottle of champagne only for really big events? Why? Well, because it’s expensive… and… it’s expensive. So, we keep it for the important moments that we want to celebrate with.. sparkling!

And when I’m into something, I like to dig in a little to find out more about the subject matter, in this case, champagne. So I planned a little day trip in Champagne-Ardenne, the region of France where champagne is produced. So, Route du Champagne, here we come!

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In a little town, called Epernay, which is about 150 km est from Paris, you will discover the home city of the devil’s wine. In the 16th century in was called like that because that bottles wouldn’t stop exploding. And, no…it was not invented by Dom Perignon, as he was born much later (a century later). He had only a very good nose and a talent in mixing grapes, which contributed in having the champagne we have today. As mush as I would like to think this is the birth place of champagne, it isn’t. This magical liquor was born down in the south thanks to the Benedictine Monks in the French region Languedoc-Roussillon and it’s called Blanquette de Limoux. That’s just a tiny piece of history before heading up to Avenue De Champagne.

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Of cours, the first stop is at Moet&Chandon, one of the biggest producers of champagne, including the one and only, the Dom Perignon vintage champagne label. Lucky Claude Moet, who established his winery in the middle of the 18th century, had a lot of demand for it’s sparkling wine in the noble circles, aristocracy and of course, at the royal court. This is how champagne became similar to royalty. In our days, Moet&Chandon can brag about the fact that they are the suppliers of Queen Elizabeth II. Yeah, the business is going well. Nothing much, just being part of the largest luxury company in the world (LVMH), with only 1.6 billion euro revenue (numbers for 2011). And they sure know how to throw luxury in your face.

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Prices start from around 35 euros for a normal Moet&Chandon and they can go up to …. more than 7000 euros for a vintage Dom Perignon.

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But if you’re interested on a budget high quality champagne, I found an offer you can’t refuse 🙂 Riding on that Route de Champagne, we found an independent champagne house, called Jean Pierre Lalouelle. I had the chance to speak with the owners and they tried to explain me this champagne thing over an ice cold coupe.They have a wonderful fairy house all covered in ivy and they are more than glad to invite you to a tasting in their improvised bar. I really regret not taking more pictures, but i took advantage that my husband was driving so i didn’t want to be rude and refuse all those sorts of champagne… so I was too into the moment and I kind of forgot to take more pictures. But that’s ok, I wouldn’t want to ruin your surprise if you pay them a visit. You must call first as they are working on the vineyard or in the production area almost all the time! We were really lucky to find someone home (as they said). Prices for Lalouelle champagne go from 16 to 30 euros per bottle and you have a discount if you get a 6 pack 🙂

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One of the most interesting things I have learned on this field trip is that the way bubbles go up can tell you if a champagne is high or low quality. The trick is to watch the bubbles if they go straight up… that means you’re having a good champagne. Spiraling bubbles are a bad sign so keep away from those. How to choose your champagne? Always look for the blanc de blancs, which is made by 100% Chardonnay. It costs a little bit more, but it’s worth. Trust me, after you have a glass of Ruinart Blanc de Blancs, it’s hard to forget that force in your mouth, making your whole body and spirit feel like they are invaded by the stars in the sky! (be ready to pay around 60 euros for a bottle).

After all that tasting, you must be hungry, so I have a little place to recommend you just a few steps away from Avenue de Champagne: Le Bar Parisian. I ate the best Croque Monsieur of my life. We payed around 70 euros for four persons including drinks and tip and… champagne for me. This post is not about food so i’m not going to mix thing up. We’re keeping it sparkle so no photo food. (Ok, I admit it, I was too hungry and I forgot to take the pictures… yes, too much champagne, so always drink wise 🙂 ). If you want something quick for the road, you can hit Paul bread and pastry shop, or any other open pastry shop and you can have a decent meal under 10 euros. But I do insist going to Paul’s because right next to it you have a wonderful champagne shop which offers almost every kind of champagne you can think of.

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Weather we’re talking about a wedding, an anniversary, or sometimes just the presence of the loved ones, champagne makes everything festive and turns any event into a special one! That’s the role of champagne! Make everyone’s heart sparkle and dance with the stars in the sky! Santé!

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How to get to Epernay? By car and by car only because the magic is to follow the Route du Champagne

Don’t take the highway, you will miss all the beauty in French landscapes.

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Moet&Chandon – 20, avenue de Champagne, 51333, Epernay

Jean Pierre Lalouelle – 50 Route de Vinay, 51530 Saint-Martin-d’Ablois, 03 26 59 92 20

Le Bar Parisien – 9 Rue Porte Lucas, 51200 Épernay ( always check schedules first because the second time we went there was a Monday, and they’re closed, that’s why we had to eat at Paul’s) .

Paul – 1 Rue Gambetta, 51200 Épernay

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Example of using right a Moet&Chandon 🙂


My summertime!

Summer it’s almost over and I can’t help think this was maybe one of the best summer ever…

I started with a quick trip in Romania, celebrating my grandparents’ 60th wedding anniversary, I was left out at my job, I did birthday parties, I had my cousin in Paris for a week, vacation with my family in places I have never dreamed to see(spending all of our economies), and finishing with three wonderful weeks besides “my person” . Sounds wonderful, no?:)

Even though at the beginning, being left without a job(due to financial issues), seemed like the worst thing ever, actually is not that bad after all… I had the whole summer at my desire, I was able to travel with my family without being concerned about my days off, I spent a lot of time with my kid (something I did not do enough while I was working), and also doing my artistry thing like singing and learning new stuff, practicing my voice… those things I never had time to do or I was just too tired to make them happen! I know, you’ll ask me for the financial side… well, the bright side is that all my extra hours and my 15 hour long days made my unemployment aid to grow substantially. Of course, our budget will have some cuts, like no more 100 euro(at least) dinners, but instead we will rediscover the thrill of eating a 5 euro falafel in the heart of the Marais, on the sidewalk:)) Life is about the simple thing shared with the ones you love! Thank God my husband loves falafel!

And what is even greater, is that everything was so inspiring. Having someone there for you, pushing you to dream and believe in yourself is a blessing. My person ,my best girl,and our 20 year old friendship which gets stronger everyday even though we are almost 2500 km away, gave me that push I was so much in need. Spending three weeks with her, gave me the strength to go on and never stop believing in my dreams!

Being in a period of my life not that good, escaping from my comfort zone by losing my job, having a whole new rhythm in my life, I was not that confident in my powers and I was blind to see the whole new opportunities opening in front of me! Sometimes you just need someone who understands you as a person, as a friend, as an artist soul, to be there for you, to support you, to tell you the things you need to hear, to give you a kick in the @ss, to remind you of what you’re capable of!

These are the persons you have to surround  yourself! I have a great family, but unfortunately I didn’t grew up with brothers or sisters, so I had the immense luck to have her by my side. If we were sisters and we wouldn’t be as close as we are as friends. And now, as she baptized my daughter five years ago, we are also family!!

My point? Always try to get around you only those persons who truly believe in you, who support you, who are there for you when you need them! I live in Paris for more than three years and I wasn’t able to make one friend… and that’s one of the bad parts of being abroad… sometimes you really feel lonely… sometimes there is no one there, no shoulder to cry on, no one to “slap” you when go crazy:))

there were times when people told me I should stop singing because it’s to hard to penetrate in this world! the competition is to high and it can cost me a lot of time and suffering! Well, I think that nothing good comes out without a lot of time invested and maybe, yes, a lot suffering and disappointments, but if you really want it, you will overpass everything and somehow you find the strength to believe in you and in your dream! At least, I will not find myself in ten years regretting I didn’t even try it!

This is it! This is my time! This is my life!


The endless rebirth…

We are all captives. Life is a trap and most of us live in captivity! (imagine the thrill of those in the wild)

I don’t even know where to start, because as we are born we are already chained by our mothers’ breast in order to survive. In most cases we are born addictive on someone: mother, nurse, nanny, etc. The first thing we learn is that we need someone or else we die. We need an environment, we need a cage! And yes, even the shiniest golden cage, still remains a cage!

And then, we grow up, and maybe we are trapped in the wrong neighborhood, a wrong school, or even the wrong body. We are captives in a society where we don’t fit, but you don’t have a choice yet, you must obey, or else… you suffer the consequences: mocked, expelled, outcast. So you do your best and you give them what they expect… but when they had enough, they will not hesitate to expel you in the end..

You grow more older. You hope to escape, to leave behind those years in captivity, but no matter where you go, and how far you’ll reach, your background doesn’t seem to distance from you. It’s like a drug you know it’s killing you little but little, but you can’t make it without. So you search another addiction, you feel the need to feel captive again. You are afraid to taste the freedom, so you push it away, you run, you hide yourself in a lousy job you hate, or in a poisoned relationship, or simply in a life routine that doesn’t seem to end.

But wait, what is that tremble? By all means, you have discovered something that makes your heart bumps… is it a hobby, a dream, a person? what do you do? Do you dare to listen, do you dare to go further to see what’s around the corner? Do you have the courage to look outside the wall? Do you have the guts to step behind the curtain? How could you? you get nausea.. your head turns and turns and turns… like a roller coaster that never reaches its end. And you feel trapped in an endless fight without the gong between the rounds. And everyday you get more confused, more messed up, more tired and less hopeful. Somewhere between the fog you see the end of a rope. Maybe if you grab it, the spinning will end… but the question arises: do you want it to end? What if you’ll end up hang there forever… hung up in the air… you don’t even know if you have the power ti climb the rope; Yes, it seems impossible to do so… you have never climbed a rope.. you don’t have the strength… you were not trained…never… so you tell yourself you simply cannot do it!

But what if I told you that the need pushes you up ten thousands times more than every training you could possibly had before? What if i told you that primordial instinct of survival  lays somewhere inside you waiting to be awakened only by your will power. Deep inside you know it too… you have to grab the rope. Let it take you up. It can’t take you lower than you already are… you see the end of it, so the only way is up.

It takes a second to decide if you want to escape, a moment to grab your life in your hands and stop the spinning. And no, there is not such thing like too late… time is endless and you create your own as your heart desires. Listen to that instinct, follow that voice… even if it’s for a moment, a second, an instinct… it will be your time of glory, because you have the power of change, the power of creation and endless recreation in ways you never thought of.

“Oh, if only you could’ve recognized what was always yours, could’ve found what was never lost. If only…” (Lisa, Letter from an unknown woman, 1948)

Don’t lose what it’s your to be, don’t waste your energy in spinning without destination, choose a moment of glory and an endless rebirth, instead of the birth of an meaningless eternity, have the courage to climb as high as you can imagine,come on, live a little… Don’t finish up thinking… if only………………life throws you many ropes in hope you’ll reach at least for one… so, what’s your rope?


Adult vs. Teenager

As I have always said I’ll always try to inspire myself from things that happen around me. Writing about how you see things can’t be any better. Trying to invent stuff it’s not always as good as Andersen fairy tales…

Today I chose to write about growing up and how we change our perceptions. Why?

Because I have never thought that I could really grow up and change my mentalities. When I was a teenager, I did it all… beginning with the age of 13… I bloomed early… too early… let’s say my family had to stay awake many nights… especially my grandma’ 🙂

Well, maybe grandma’ is not the best example as she still stays up until I get home (when I’m Home) even though I’m 27, married with children and I live half the continent away.

But I remember my mother… I couldn’t get it why did one hour (or two or three, or the whole night long) counted so much. What was the big deal if I were home at 1 a.m. or at 7 a.m.  And there were those long talks afterwards… and the threats, and then the screaming… and everything was on repeating twice a week at least 🙂

And I just couldn’t get it… why such a big deal?

And then… the great search…hidden under the cleaning pretext,   my backpack, my pocket… my desk… everything was under the search warrant of my grandma’s. CSI couldn’t do better than my grandma. So you see, all these stuff made me do it more on more…hide more and more, being more and more rebel, just to show everybody that I was the most stubborn, and I was the boss of myself and that it’s me who decides and not them! Short… I was teenager… first generation of teenagers with internet access and first generations with mobile phones (in Romania), and no talking about not selling smoke and booze to minors… it was Romania after the Revolution… we were the free generations… and God, how we took advantage of that…

Yeah… so, things weren’t easy… for my family, but they they sure were great for me 🙂

I have always been the kind of person that lives for the moment… I’m afraid of dying and not did it all… I try to do all my guilty pleasures, I try to taste a bit of everything… I need it! I need it for my soul, I need it for my inspiration, I need it like the air I breathe… so I have always said that if something is to happen, it will happen anyway, no matter how much we try to avoid it, so… being careful was not on of my strongest points. Plus, I have always considered that I’ve remained at 17… I don’t see myself as a 27 year old. I still do teenage stuff and I’m still a teenage dreamer… fuck, I still watch cartoons…that is even lower…

In French psychology they even invented a name for it… from adult and adolescent … they came up with adulescent. Yeah… so, normally, I have always seen myself as someone who would get along with teenagers… hey girl, kinda 🙂  And not only getting along, but also, understand them, agree with them… defend them… because I see too much parents complaining about the teenage of their children like the WWIII.

As I became a mother, things wanted to change a bit, but I kept on going with my idea of freedom… hell, I even let my 4 old daughter go on a one day trip with her school all by herself… (I went on all my one day school trips accompanied by grandma’ and occasionally by my mom also, until I was 11…) So, I’m very open minded… Fuck, I listen to Lana del Rey and I adore This is what makes us girls.

But… as I have said before, things aren’t always as they seem… We can all do the talking, but when life puts you face to face to a situation, never take for granted how you might react.

Fate made it happen that I watch a 14 year old teenage this week… one of my best friend’s daughter. Yeah, sure…no problem… I love the girl, she’s bright, she’s talented, and she adores me… and I’m sure her parents over react when they say she’s difficult… so why not, how hard can it be?… As long as she takes the shower by herself, eats alone and she gets dressed alone, I have no problem…

Two days went smooth… I tried to do all her pleasures, I took her with me at work, we had breakfast on a pretty isle on the Seine with sun bathing our faces… I cooked her what she wanted… I let her use her phone as long as she wanted, and not confiscate it at 10 p.m. as her mother instructed… you see, I tried to be cool…. The cool big sister or the favorite auntie style… I have never had that so I know it’s a joy to have someone like this… it’s like I was 14 again with stories about boyfriends who call to often or they don’t call at all, with a special ring that worth nothing but has a huge sentimental value because her best friends wears the same one 🙂

And then, one evening… I noticed something fishy (fishy in my fucked up mind)… I won’t say anything about the subject matter, because her parents might read this so, I don’t her to get in trouble for nothing… Mom and Dad, chill, everything’s OK, nothing to worry about! It’s about me, not about her:)

Short: I was too curious about something in her phone and I was shocked to see she won’t give me the code to unlock it!

Yes, in that moment I realized how worried I was. You’ll say… it’s not your child… no, it’s worse… her parents trusted me 100% to let her with me, so I was responsible for her… 100%. Then I knew the feeling of my grandma’ when she searched everywhere.. I wanted to know what she is hiding… obviously if she’s hiding something, it’s something bad!!! It can’t be any good if she’s hiding… why doesn’t she trust me to tell me what is it about?? And when she gave me the … It’s my business, not yours, I was on fire!!!

And, yes, I have started reacting as an old adult, forgetting in that instant all my teenage years!! I did the talk, I did the threats… blackmail, everything… just to know what is happening!!! I started giving her lectures, when in fact I was the one that needed the lecture! What the fuck was wrong with me??? In an instant I forgot all about hey girl and Lana del Rey and everything… I was an adult giving the talk to a teenager!

Then, I saw her… she was so sad that broke my heart in two… I then realize.. What have I done… yes it’s true, I was afraid… what if she had in mind to run away or something?? Can you imagine that happen? See, I start think immediately at worst possible. Why? Why do we start thinking at the worst when we grow older?

When have I lost that feeling that everything’s gonna be ok? When did I grow up that fast?

And to make things worst possible… the thing she was hiding me was so unimportant and meaningless that made feel even lower than I was already feeling.

I realized that teenagers act just like a normal human being. They feel the need to have things for their own. They have business that they want to keep out the reach of someone… They even hide things from their best friends.. It’s not like they have something with adults… it’s just like you and me! I eat that cake without anyone seeing me! It’s my secret! (Not anymore, obviously). My grandma’ keeps an economy account without the knowledge of my grandpa’ … and I’m sure he’s doing the same thing! I have a special place when I go from time to time to read and meditate, and I have never took my husband with me! It’s my place, my secret place and I want to keep it that way! Am I doing something wrong? Am I bad wife??And you can go on with your own examples!! I’m sure you have plenty. Yes, we feel the need to have something of our own. It’s in our nature!! So why can’t teenagers have their own business??

It took me a while till I finally got it… she has the right to keep her things for herself. And yes it should be enough when they say you can trust them ‘cause it’s nothing important! How can you demand their trust if you don’t give yours?? It’s simple, actually… forbidding something it’s like inflame them more to do it! Having the attitude of the grown up who knows all it’s even worse! Yeah, you knew it… but it seems now you are forgetting… And please, I don’t wanna hear about that stupid theory that kids should learn from parents’ mistakes… not a chance… if you think you’ll go on telling stories about how you did this and the bad consequences that fallowed, hoping your child will be too afraid of doing it… you’re really wrooooong 🙂 It’s logical… your child sees you live and well so he’ll think that if you made it out alive… so will he:)

So, why is this happening? Why do we forget our wild teenage years and we always have this conflict between generations? Why are we so fearful and so trustless? What happens that makes us be this way… is this growing up?? Live a hell when your daughter goes on a date for the first time? Remember your first date?? ……. I thought so… you hold hands 🙂 )

So, whose fault is it? Society? When it rains with predictions from everybody as they were fucking Nostradamus?? Media? That empoisons us with rapes and thefts and kidnaps’ and car accidents? Family? With everybody starts giving you lectures on how to raise YOUR child…

Stop being afraid! Life is too short! If it is to happen something bad it will happen no matter how much you will cocoon your child! I am a mother and it took me a while to decide letting my daughter alone on that one day trip! So, I know the feeling. But I’m trying to remember more of my years as child and as teenager and think less about my mental and social inheritance.

And yeah…. Thank you girl for teaching me an important lessons this week!

Remember: you were a teenager once 🙂


The Hammock Theory

 As I thought so, no news about him the boy from the previous post. I tried call the hospital but they won’t give me any information, so I hope he is still fighting for his life and I wish him well, wherever he is.

I was sure this would happen. This is it, life goes on… I did what I know best… write about… but my hands are tight… I can’t be Wonder Woman and save the world.

The things is I had a remark from someone that told me that my post can’t be viewed as “no to racism” because of my statements related to the differences between roumanian and rroms. As I replied, I think my post is very well entitled, because even though sometimes we are bothered by some some people, we can’t go doing our law by ourselves. I hate my neibgbors for slamming their doors. That doesn’t I go on punching them.

Life goes on as usual, time waits for nobody, so, my stories go on also, and today I was thinking about friendship.

Since I came to France, I haven’t managed to make myself new friends. Sometimes, you make acquaintances, you go out for a drink with a classmate or a colleague, but in the end, you come back home, and if you are constipated and after long hours of trying to get the demon out, your ass hurts you as hell because of that really spicy sauce you ate, you can’t call your classmate to tell him that.

You can’ become that intimate with someone you know for couple of months or a year or so. Friendship need time to grow. Here’s my Hammock Theory.

You have planted a tree, it’s a baby tree… Wood tree is still tender. He is young. He has no strength yet. You put another baby tree beside him. They are both young and fragile. And they share the sun together, they share the rain and the Earth and they live side by side, taking advantage of all the beautiful things the gardens has to offer them. Yes, they spend a lot of time with each other, they are there every day, but what can they do together? Can they share a little more than joyful atmosphere there in the garden?

Try put a hammock between them… will they support your weight? They can’t! Even if they really want, even if desire is there, sometimes the laws of physics and time just can’t allow the trees to support a hammock with someone in it. It is just too hard for them! They need more time to grow, they need to be powerful enough to support each other equally.

The same thing with two friends. Can you really call someone friend after just one small period of time? In my opinion, friends are just like trees, and the friendship between them is the weight of the hammock they can support together. No matter how rainy or windy and stormy the weather is, they will keep on supporting the weight! Because they have grown strong and they will be like that until they are cut down…

I miss my trees… and you don’t know how much you miss the oak trees until you try and share a hammock with a shrub. You can’t be confident in a shrub. Is can lean in any direction. It’s just the way it is. You just have to wait for the shrub to become an oak, and as you know… not all shrubs become an oak! Sometimes, they rest a shrub for their entire existence.

You must think well before tiding a hammock with someone. Sometimes, you just go with the flow, because you know you must have someone else at the other end to keep the hammock up in the air…  You mustn’t give up trying, you never know when the trunk starts to grow…

The forests are wide… keep on searching until that strong oak comes along… circumstances bring always new trees to be plant 🙂