They say sometimes you gotta let go the past In order to live your present… but how can you, when everything you miss the most is that same past?
Not rarely I have seen people anchored in the past. Anchored in past realities that no longer stand for today. Relationships are by far the best working sheet to observe this phenomenon. How can a relationship pass the time test? How can two people update themselves in the same time in order to keep the fire going? Or when do you decide that your life lanes are no longer on the same path?
Today, divorces rates are higher than anytime in history. Society is developing so fast in so many ways, that sometimes we lose sight of primordial needs. What is with people today that they quit so easily upon a marriage? Instead of taking advantage of today’s resources, it seems to me that those exact resources are provoking the exact opposite of what they should be doing. Health, education, culture, access to information, freedom of speech, women’s emancipation, those should be beneficial factors to a better life, instead it seems to ruin what they should built stronger. Time runs faster and we don’t have the patience to repair what’s broken, and many times we choose to replace something that has only a scratch. Why?
Returning to relationships, I see my grandparents’ generation in a totally different view with my generation today. They sworn until death takes them apart and they stuck with that promise. For good and for worse. And that’s not necessarily always about remaining in love like in the first day. It’s more to that. It’s about a solid partnership that stand in storm together, it’s about completing each other in times of need, it’s about building a strong family that overpasses any obstacle. They choose to repair when something gets broken. Because not everything new is necessarily better or improved. It’s just new! And history teach us that trends come and go, but classics remain immortals. Just take a look at an antique furniture. It will always have a greater value than any modern piece. That antique furniture may be full of scratches, but every single scratch tells a story. It comes with an accumulated energy that no new thing may acquire. And sometimes even those scratches can be reconditioned. So, why can’t we apply the same principles to relationships? Why are we so fascinated by new stuff? Why can’t we value what we already have? Why can’t we update ourselves by removing the signs of time? What’s the Botox for our relationships’ wrinkles? Do we let go of the past? Do we search for the present? Or is it just an excuse to keep fighting?
In order to live the present we have to accept the past, not letting go of it!
Well, first of all, I think the pollution for relationships today it’s society high speed evolution today. We forgot how to be patient. We want it all, we want it now. If it doesn’t get better by next week, we consider it done. Just like any diet. Why do we quit? Because we wanna see the result immediately. In one week we want to lose fat accumulated in one year. That’s not possible, but our brains today are used to be one click away from everything. With one click, you get face to face from China to America, with one click you do your shopping, with one click your dinner, with one click you do almost everything today; fortunately, love remains more than just a click away.
But to be in love, is to understand first what love is. Love is not an illusion, love is not what makes Hollywood movies be drama blockbusters. Love is not just falling for someone. Love is not that screaming orgasm in that sexual act. Love is not only the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, love is not lust or desire. Love is more than a late motive.
Love is more than yourself, love is what makes humanity exist. Love is in everything you wish to see blooming. Love is wanting to share your life in every possible way with someone who will always be there no matter how many scratches you’ll have. Love will change in desire to protect. Love will wipe your tears away when you are down and it’ll pick you up and learn you how to walk again. Love will empower you to stand on the edge of the greatest heights without being afraid. Love will warm your heart you when you are cold as ice. Love will still see the beauty in you even when your demons will come out. Love will vanish those demons and bring light back in your life. Love will be patient, just like the Bible says, to rebuilt over and over again what has been destroyed. Love is what makes the sun rise even after the longest night.
So let me ask you, have you ever been in love?