Monthly Archives: March 2017

Tu cat poposesti?

Nu astept mult pana sa iau atitudine. Fiecare circumstanta noua din viata mea a necesitat noi masuri de punere in miscare. Niciodata nu am stat pe loc. Ma adaptez oricarei situatii. Dar asta nu inseamna ca ma schimb. Asta nu inseamna ca sunt alta de fiecare data. Am doar mai multe unelte de supravietuire pe care le scot in functie de misiune. Nu am nevoie de tot odata. Daca sunt in desert, doar n-o sa-mi scot undita. Dar daca ne-am vazut doar in desert, nu poti sa-mi spui ca nu stiu sa pescuiesc!

Viata e un drum (mult prea cliseic, stiu, dar chiar e) numai ca nu poti sa spui ca ai dat inapoi niciodata. Viata nu are marsarier. Poate ramai oleaca pe loc, dar niciodata inapoi! Asta ar insemna sa avem masina timpului si sa derulam nitel. Pana una alta, masina timpului nu exista, asa ca expresia “dai inapoi”, dupa legile fizicii si ale logicii, este imposibila. Si o mai aud si pe aia cu “orice ar fi, MERG INAINTE”…pai..da, stiu, ori mergi…inainte, ca am stabilit deja ca inapoi nu se poate, ori stai nitel pe loc pana te impinge viata! Si atunci, daca nu esti tu la carma, cine stie pe unde te umbla si pe unde te aduna…

 

Da, poate dai de drumuri mai cu gropi, daca stai in Romania, cu siguranta dai in gropi la orice cotitura, dar nici cu drumurile astea din occident nu mi-e rusine. Fac slalom si p’aci.

Dar merg, avansez orice ar fi. Nu e ca si cand ai avea de ales. Viata chiar te impinge de la spate chiar si atunci cand ramai fara combustibil.

Te impinge cu chiu si vai pana la prima pompa de benzina. Si daca esti falit, iti face plinul pe datorie si tot mai departe te duci.

Viata nu te asteapta. Ai doua variante. Te lasi impins si purtat de turma sau iti iei avant si iti cuceresti drumul! Stiti benzile alea din aeroporturi sau metrouri, unde e corespondenta lunga? Daca ai apucat sa te urci, ori stai ca bou’, si pierzi timpul, ori bagi oleaca de sprint ca iepurele si ajungi mai repede. Mai devreme sau mai tarziu, tot acolo ajungi. Numai ca… daca ajungi printre ultimi, risti sa nu mai gasesti loc in fata… si ce pacat e sa treaca viata in parada si tu nici sa n-o vezi!

De fiecare data mai imi schimb blana cand mai fac cate-un popas de alimentare..dar vorba ‘ceea …lupu-si schimba paru’, da’ naravu’, ba!

Tu cat poposesti?

 

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8 Martie

#8martie #ziua #internationala #a #femeii

In ajun de 8 martie si iarasi cu telefonul spart, nu pot sa nu observ cat de superficiala devin cateodata. Si desi ma lupt enorm sa imi pastrez autenticitatea si principiile sanatoase cu care am fost crescuta si educata…i’m only human. Normal ca uneori cad prada ispitelor de zi cu zi.
Cad prada consumerismului, ma incatusez uneori cu frustrari, ma compar involuntar cu unele standarde (imaginare) pe care media le impune.
Mi-aduc aminte de anul 2005. Nu aveam nici 18 ani impliniti si am convins-o pe mama sa ma lase sa ma mut la Bucuresti, singura… eram in clasa a 11-a. Eram pe cale sa semnez un contract cu o casa de productie. Foarte entuziasmati de vocea mea, de creatiile mele.
Am facut pasul imediat. Avand o “istorie curata” in fata mamei si fiind mai mult decat independenta de la o varsta la care altele se jucau inca cu papusile, intr-o luna am fost mutata cu catel si purcel la Bucuresti. Gazda in buricul targului langa Cercul Militar, admisa la liceul Spiru Haret (mega in voga la vremea aia), ce sa mai …”libertate, frate…poate facultate”.
Si hop, vine ziua semnarii contractului cu “the big boss”, care nu ma intalnise inca personal…si cu…un struto-camila de antrenor/nutritionist. Si ce sa vezi… big boss se sfatuieste cu struto-camila ala de parca era mai ceva ca nesuferitul ala de la Britain’s got talent.
Si dupa cum se vorbira si sfatuira… au ajuns ei la concluzia ca trebuie, citez “sa foram (as in drill) in suncile astea inainte sa incepem sa cantam!” Hai sa moara ma-ta, zau???
Asta in ideea in care cantaream cu vreo 10 kg mai PUTIN ca acuma, dar in 2005 daca nu erai piele si os, eventual bulimica, anorexica, erai grasa!
La 17 ani cand ti se spune asta… dezvolti multe complexe si frustrari. In cazul meu, s-au dezvoltat inconstient, caci in plan constient sunt mult prea nesimtita 🙂))
Acuma nu stiu daca a fost coincidenta sau nu, dar studiourile lor au luat foc dupa vreo cateva saptamani si nu aveau nici asigurare. Jur ca n-am niciun amestec:))))) voodoo n-am facut!
Am ramas cu muzica la nivel amator. Au urmat ani plini de alte si alte aventuri, de urcusuri si coborasuri atat spiritual cat si pe cantar 🙂) am avut oscilatii si de peste 20 kg (si nu in timpul sarcinii:))
In toti anii care au urmat m-am luptat zi de zi cu mine. De la ambitie la resemmare, de la acceptare la provocare, am trecut prin toate, incercand sa gasesc un echilibru intre toti factorii care imi definesc viata.
Fiecare an a adus cu el cate-o caramida in plus la bagajul meu emotional.
Dar am avut noroc de o educatie foarte sanatoasa in copilarie. Am avut ca model o femeie puternica. Care o bate la cur oricand pe Xena- la propriu. O femeie nebuna de legat care a intors lumea pe dos de fiecare data cand a crezut ca trebuie s-o scuture nitel. Mamaie. THE Mamaie! Si pe ea durut-o fix in flocu’ drept cat a cantarit. Ce-i adevarat, a dat-o-n diabet dupa 50 ani… dar il tine sub control, e ok. A slabit, stie sa manance echilibrat, are schema facuta de mine pe frigider, isi ajusteaza singura dozele de insulina… real bad @ass 🙂
Si m-a crescut cu ideea asta ca, noi, femeile, facem lumea sa se invarteasca. Ea m-a “empowered” o viata 🙂 tot ce isi pune femeia aia in cap, reuseste, nenica! Secretul ei? Munca multa si rabdare! Agoniseala! De toate felurile posibile! Cateodata ea o duce la extreme. Noroc ca l-am pe tataie contrabalans, de la care am invatat sa ma bucur de micile placeri ale vietii! De o friptura suculenta, de un vin bun, de o siesta bine meritata.
Toate lucrurile astea au inceput sa iasa la iveala undeva dupa varsta de 25 de ani…nah…am avut si eu odrasla la randul meu, plus ca…am ajuns intr-o alta lume, o alta mentalitate. Aici in Franta nu prea a contat cum arat ci ceea ce stiu sa fac. La Paris mi-am regasit vocea, la propriu si la figurat, si dupa multa munca si agoniseala, si rabdare, am ajuns in 2015, 10 ani mai tarziu si 10 kg in plus, sa fac din muzica o meserie full time!
Cum? Pai, am incetat sa ma uit in oglinda si sa-mi vad “defectele”. Ma reeduc sa-mi admir atuurile. Si fiecare slabiciune sa mi-o transform intr-un as din maneca. Am mai spus-o…daca viata iti da doar lamai, nu fa doar limonada, mai baga si un limoncello, o tarta cu lamaie, un sapun, o apa de colonie, tot ce poti!
Da, ma mai loveste cate-un greu al vietii val gen…telefon furat, telefon spart, si iar telefon spart. Si ma apuca si pe mine ofticile pt lucrurile materiale sau lucrurile de suprafata.
Dar apoi ma trezesc repede…si imi dau seama ca asta inseamna doar ca te ia oleaca valul, in niciun caz nu te loveste in fata!
Eventual, plutesti nitel in deriva, dar cu siguranta nu te ineci!
Care e luxul zilelor noastre? Ei, asta e alta poveste intr-o alta zi😘
Femeie, ramai pe baricade!


Have you ever been in love?

They say sometimes you gotta let go the past In order to live your present… but how can you, when everything you miss the most is that same past?

Not rarely I have seen people anchored in the past. Anchored in past realities that no longer stand for today. Relationships are by far the best working sheet to observe this phenomenon. How can a relationship pass the time test? How can two people update themselves in the same time in order to keep the fire going? Or when do you decide that your life lanes are no longer on the same path?

Today, divorces rates are higher than anytime in history. Society is developing so fast in so many ways, that sometimes we lose sight of primordial needs. What is with people today that they quit so easily upon a marriage? Instead of taking advantage of today’s resources, it seems to me that those exact resources are provoking the exact opposite of what they should be doing. Health, education, culture, access to information, freedom of speech, women’s emancipation, those should be beneficial factors to a better life, instead it seems to ruin what they should built stronger. Time runs faster and we don’t have the patience to repair what’s broken, and many times we choose to replace something that has only a scratch. Why?

Returning to relationships, I see my grandparents’ generation in a totally different view with my generation today. They sworn until death takes them apart and they stuck with that promise. For good and for worse. And that’s not necessarily always about remaining in love like in the first day. It’s more to that. It’s about a solid partnership that stand in storm together, it’s about completing each other in times of need, it’s about building a strong family that overpasses any obstacle. They choose to repair when something gets broken. Because not everything new is necessarily better or improved. It’s just new! And history teach us that trends come and go, but classics remain immortals. Just take a look at an antique furniture. It will always have a greater value than any modern piece. That antique furniture may be full of scratches, but every single scratch tells a story. It comes with an accumulated energy that no new thing may acquire. And sometimes even those scratches can be reconditioned. So, why can’t we apply the same principles to relationships? Why are we so fascinated by new stuff? Why can’t we value what we already have? Why can’t we update ourselves by removing the signs of time? What’s the Botox for our relationships’ wrinkles? Do we let go of the past? Do we search for the present? Or is it just an excuse to keep fighting?

In order to live the present we have to accept the past, not letting go of it!

Well, first of all, I think the pollution for relationships today it’s society high speed evolution today. We forgot how to be patient. We want it all, we want it now. If it doesn’t get better by next week, we consider it done. Just like any diet. Why do we quit? Because we wanna see the result immediately. In one week we want to lose fat accumulated in one year. That’s not possible, but our brains today are used to be one click away from everything. With one click, you get face to face from China to America, with one click you do your shopping, with one click your dinner, with one click you do almost everything today; fortunately, love remains more than just a click away.

But to be in love, is to understand first what love is. Love is not an illusion, love is not what makes Hollywood movies be drama blockbusters. Love is not just falling for someone. Love is not that screaming orgasm in that sexual act. Love is not only the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, love is not lust or desire. Love is more than a late motive.

Love is more than yourself, love is what makes humanity exist. Love is in everything you wish to see blooming. Love is wanting to share your life in every possible way with someone who will always be there no matter how many scratches you’ll have. Love will change in desire to protect. Love will wipe your tears away when you are down and it’ll pick you up and learn you how to walk again. Love will empower you to stand on the edge of the greatest heights without being afraid. Love will warm your heart you when you are cold as ice. Love will still see the beauty in you even when your demons will come out. Love will vanish those demons and bring light back in your life. Love will be patient, just like the Bible says, to rebuilt over and over again what has been destroyed. Love is what makes the sun rise even after the longest night.

So let me ask you, have you ever been in love?