Tag Archives: demons

Have you ever been in love?

They say sometimes you gotta let go the past In order to live your present… but how can you, when everything you miss the most is that same past?

Not rarely I have seen people anchored in the past. Anchored in past realities that no longer stand for today. Relationships are by far the best working sheet to observe this phenomenon. How can a relationship pass the time test? How can two people update themselves in the same time in order to keep the fire going? Or when do you decide that your life lanes are no longer on the same path?

Today, divorces rates are higher than anytime in history. Society is developing so fast in so many ways, that sometimes we lose sight of primordial needs. What is with people today that they quit so easily upon a marriage? Instead of taking advantage of today’s resources, it seems to me that those exact resources are provoking the exact opposite of what they should be doing. Health, education, culture, access to information, freedom of speech, women’s emancipation, those should be beneficial factors to a better life, instead it seems to ruin what they should built stronger. Time runs faster and we don’t have the patience to repair what’s broken, and many times we choose to replace something that has only a scratch. Why?

Returning to relationships, I see my grandparents’ generation in a totally different view with my generation today. They sworn until death takes them apart and they stuck with that promise. For good and for worse. And that’s not necessarily always about remaining in love like in the first day. It’s more to that. It’s about a solid partnership that stand in storm together, it’s about completing each other in times of need, it’s about building a strong family that overpasses any obstacle. They choose to repair when something gets broken. Because not everything new is necessarily better or improved. It’s just new! And history teach us that trends come and go, but classics remain immortals. Just take a look at an antique furniture. It will always have a greater value than any modern piece. That antique furniture may be full of scratches, but every single scratch tells a story. It comes with an accumulated energy that no new thing may acquire. And sometimes even those scratches can be reconditioned. So, why can’t we apply the same principles to relationships? Why are we so fascinated by new stuff? Why can’t we value what we already have? Why can’t we update ourselves by removing the signs of time? What’s the Botox for our relationships’ wrinkles? Do we let go of the past? Do we search for the present? Or is it just an excuse to keep fighting?

In order to live the present we have to accept the past, not letting go of it!

Well, first of all, I think the pollution for relationships today it’s society high speed evolution today. We forgot how to be patient. We want it all, we want it now. If it doesn’t get better by next week, we consider it done. Just like any diet. Why do we quit? Because we wanna see the result immediately. In one week we want to lose fat accumulated in one year. That’s not possible, but our brains today are used to be one click away from everything. With one click, you get face to face from China to America, with one click you do your shopping, with one click your dinner, with one click you do almost everything today; fortunately, love remains more than just a click away.

But to be in love, is to understand first what love is. Love is not an illusion, love is not what makes Hollywood movies be drama blockbusters. Love is not just falling for someone. Love is not that screaming orgasm in that sexual act. Love is not only the feeling of butterflies in your stomach, love is not lust or desire. Love is more than a late motive.

Love is more than yourself, love is what makes humanity exist. Love is in everything you wish to see blooming. Love is wanting to share your life in every possible way with someone who will always be there no matter how many scratches you’ll have. Love will change in desire to protect. Love will wipe your tears away when you are down and it’ll pick you up and learn you how to walk again. Love will empower you to stand on the edge of the greatest heights without being afraid. Love will warm your heart you when you are cold as ice. Love will still see the beauty in you even when your demons will come out. Love will vanish those demons and bring light back in your life. Love will be patient, just like the Bible says, to rebuilt over and over again what has been destroyed. Love is what makes the sun rise even after the longest night.

So let me ask you, have you ever been in love?

 

 


Failure???

Today I hate myself. I hate that I’m so weak. I feel like a cockroach. Today I have failed. Why can’t I be strong and ambitious and do what I deserve?

There were times when nothing could stop me! I remember the days when ambition was my middle name. What can I do to find that strength again? I’m ready to admit that I am a food slave and a sugar addict. I weight ….. a lot…and I’m just 26 years old! I know I need help but I really don’t know where to ask! Everything is about money today! Everybody pretends to help you, but I don’t think there is someone really out there who is doing this just for the desire to help others. And for the love of God… I WORK IN A PASTRY SHOP!!! I feel like a coward! I know I’m a coward. I try to think at all the famous failures in the world and how Oprah Winfrey was fired from television because the producers thought she doesn’t fit for TV. And, look at her now… she did pretty well, I may say!

Is it such a big sin being oversized? Should we all be in our perfect size? What is the perfect size? When was the BMI invented? Who said that being thin is the standard beauty? Why should we follow the crowd??

I sincerely admire oversized models…

Normally, this post ended here… when I wrote it… about 3 months ago… but today I feel the need to continue because the purpose is here to come. My dear best friend advised me with a book to read, it is called Steal like an Artist , by Austin Kleon. Wonderful book, I recommend it also. In less than one hour you can finish it. I won’t talk about the book, but I will mention a piece of advice which the author insists on: google everything! from questions, to dreams, from frustrations to ideas, everything… google it! Chances are there a lot of people out there who questions the same things as you do. The thing is I was already googling everything before I read the book to see if someone else is as fucked up as I am. Guess what? 🙂 there are a lot of fucked up people out there:)

My point? I began reading other people stories, I began listening other people stories and I began to see the real stories behind the fake people. There is no one out there living without any frustrations. We are not perfect (and even if some try so hard to pretend they are, you can’t even imagine how conscious they are about their imperfections). Each and everyone of us has those tiny little creatures living in our brains making us go mad sometimes. And the feeling that I was not the only one (yeah, at some point, I thought of myself as the Messiah on Earth), made feel better. Actually, this was the main reason I decided to publish my writings… because sometimes, the courage to let it all out, might inspire someone else. I got inspired by so many stories that I wanted to give something back… Thanks to so many persons that had the courage to release their demons, my confidence starts to gain weight and my body to lose it. And even when things go rough, I learned that gaining 2 pounds it’s not the end of the world. Not being all stressed out, way less tension in my body, my mind is free of dark thoughts (I’m not saying that I have a whole week without a depression day, but it’s a difference than having all days, black days), and the most important thing… less time spent to choose my clothes in the morning:)))) and … time is money:))))

Hasta la vista, baby:)