Tag Archives: curves

Perspective (1) Vocea Romaniei

Ma uit in oglinda si ma ciupesc ca sa realizez ca tot ce se intampla este real. Si nu, nu o spun dintr-o falsa modestie! Si nici nu incerc sa va impresionez cu vreo poveste cenusareasca.
Sambata seara mi s-au inmuiat genunchii urmarind prestatia mea de la Vocea Romaniei. Atatea cuvinte frumoase din partea antrenorilor, atatea aprecieri…iar de la Tudor, mentorul meu, si de la doamna Dutescu, antrenorul nostru vocal, am invatat in cateva luni cat n-am invatat o viata.

Am ajuns in acest concurs fiindca aveam nevoie de un scop, de un motiv de care sa ma agat ca sa ma ridic si sa merg mai departe. Vocea Romaniei s-a nimerit in viata mea fix cand aveam nevoie mai mare.

Viata te loveste atunci cand te astepti mai putin, iar 2018 mi-a adus cele mai mari schimbari… insa Vocea Romaniei a fost colacul meu de salvare. Aveam nevoie de incredere si de curaj sa-mi asum cine sunt.

De la Tudor invat in fiecare zi sa-mi caut vocea, vocea mea, din toate punctele de vedere. Si invat de asemenea sa cred in mine! Si sa cred ca e mai important sa fiu imperfect de autentica decat o copie perfecta. Este cea mai frumoasa calatorie pe care am parcurs-o, alaturi de cei mai misto oameni! Ma bucur de fiecare etapa si nu ma gandesc nicio clipa cat de departe voi ajunge. Tot ce imi doresc e ca echipa Tudor sa fie mereu la inaltimea precedentilor si sunt sigura ca oricare dintre noi merge mai departe va face o treaba nemaipomenita!
Acum ma concentrez doar sa pregatesc un moment care sa ajunga la inimile voastre si sper sa nu va dezamagesc.

N-am simtit niciodata atata energie pozitiva ca in aceste ultime luni. Citesc cu mare bucurie fiecare mesaj, fiecare comentariu si fiecare gand bun! Conteaza mult pentru mine sa stiu ca sunt oameni care apreciaza ceea ce fac si va multumesc din suflet ca ma sustineti, ca sunteti alaturi de mine in aceasta minunata aventura.

Cea mai importanta lectie pe care o invat la Vocea Romaniei este aceea de a accepta cine sunt si de a avea curajul sa-mi deschid sufletul in fata voastra.
Aici nu conteaza ca am 5 kg in plus sau ca mi se vede gusa din profil. E doar o chestiune de perspectiva. Nu conteaza decat ceea ce fac pe scena si ceea ce transmit! Punct.

Photo credit: Uanna Dumitrescu

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Weight

Weight.

Yesterday after I have finished writing, I couldn’t sleep. It was stuck on my mind what I had wrote about weight and me believing that most of my problems comes from my weight issues.

We live in a society where the wrap is everything. I won’t be a hypocrite and say that I have a solid opinion about weight like… be proud of your curves. The only thing solid here is my body. So, most of my days are haunted by my weight frustrations. Who isn’t these days? I like to eat, I’m a sugar addict, and I’m the slave of food! Actually, it goes like this. I wish to be thin. It is the obsession of my life. To be thin. To be able to wear everything. Any color, any type of clothes. But that’s hard to achieve when you are me. I tend to associate any event, big or small, with food. For me food and sugar and even a bit of alcohol are life’s little pleasures. I cannot imagine a night out with my husband without eating, or a day in bed without sugary, a road trip without a picnic, a walk in a park without a snack, everything I associate with food and drink. Even the smallest occasion I want to celebrate it with food. It’s a culture. It’s a disease.So, losing weight turns out to be the hardest thing in the whole world.

I’m sorry. I’m trying and I’m trying to stay focused, but I’m really tired, so, writing about food and my weight problems would not be the most inspiring thing. Why should I force myself? A little angel on one shoulder tells me that this is how champions are born. By pushing their limits, by going over the edge, (sliding in the same time images with Rocky Balboa climbing the famous stairs) not by quitting at the very first sign of fatigue. And of course there is also the little devil’s voice who is singing me a lullaby. Not even trying to convince me of anything… just a sweet lullaby 🙂

So, my weight? I’m not happy with my body… But, there are times when my clothes are so tight and black that they make me feel thinner. So, I’m confident and all the garbage men are whistling behind me. And I become more confident. I feel sexy! I look on one or two plus size model, read an article, and voilà, a perfect day :). Too bad, that’s so rare I cannot even remember. So, I’m struggling to find the solutions.  To lose weight or to feel good in my own shape?

I think that this subject needs a lot of time and silence, two vital elements which are not my high point right now so I think I’ll just postponed this issue.

Sorry, we’re not super writers every day! /