Tag Archives: being roma


All my life I have waited to turn 27… I don’t know why I’ve always had this idea that 27 will bring a big change in my life…

At first, my fucked up mind thought it has something to do to with that creepy pattern of Jim Morisson, Janis Joplin, Kurt Cobain or Amy Winehouse… but as 27 was approaching so fast, I’ve realized that I needed the fame and fortune to die in glory… And, clearly, that was not my case (please don’t laugh 🙂 )
So, I began thinking that something else is waiting for me at 27… but guess what what, 27 found me on a 14 hour long working day with the sole desire to sleep.

Short: I have been waiting something to fall out of the sky. And the only things that fell was a big slack over my head waking me up at reality!
What have I done to receive that big change? What big sacrifices have I made to deserve such a reward? How much sweat my self-discipline has poured?

I won’t be a liar and say 0 efforts, but trust me, the result is not that far away…at all!
Yes… 27 gave me the biggest lesson! You see, all my life I have taken everything for granted… talent, beauty, luck, chances, family… but you see… life gives you the lemons…but the lemonade can’t be done by itself. You have to take the lemons and squeeze them until the very last drop to make the best lemonade… by yourself! Always finding someone to do it for you… it’s not an option!

You must earn that lemonade with the price of your sweat, with the pain of your hands because of too much squeezing… I took too much for granted and now I’m realizing how difficult is to make lemonade by yourself! And if you don’t take advantage of lemons as long they are fresh and juicy… they will mold! And then the only option is to throw them away! Who likes molded lemons???
Think of the lemons as you think at your years of youth, of strength and don’t let your beauty get mold! And I’m talking about beauty in the largest way possible, from inside to outside! Take advantage of your most beautiful years and go conquer the world!

One day we will be too old, and there is nothing you can do to turn back time. Those years of youth when you can be the king of the world, will never be back! And, no, I’m not giving lectures to others…I give a lecture to me, in order to motivate myself to pursue all my dreams! (and so do you) And yes, even if it sounds silly… I do believe you should not stop following your dreams! And I will repeat myself until I, also, will get it!

Yes, life will put heavy obstacles… and yes, time will seem your biggest enemy and yes, you will feel like everything is put up against you… but… no, those are not signs to give up… those are challenges you have to pass through in order to achieve your goal! It’s like a job… you work, you have the money! You don’t work… you’ll be a homeless!
Simple as that! You want to lose weight… well, you have a fucking fight going on… Like the first day you go on detox, and your colleague return from holiday with a special cake, especially for you. A cake she has carried on her arms thousands of miles on her knees, in an airplane… in the car… on her way to work… just for you and she can’t wait to see how you will have that gastronomic orgasm while eating! What the fuck do you do??? Yes… life can play you well! And yes, I’m sure 99% would eat the cake, but… I want to be that 1% who stand still and not eat the cake!

So, here I am am… 27! And the biggest change I could have is to realize that without hard working nothing can be achieved and this is the most valuable lesson! You must feel the pain before enjoying the pleasure… Nothing is for free and nothing will lay at your feet just because you have an ounce of potential. That ounce of potential will grow only with tones of practice and hard working.

Yes, you’re tired everyday with the job, with the the daily chores, with kids and family, but somehow, time must be made to pursue your goals! If ain’t you who does that… no one will do it for you! When I realized it’s been more than a week and I haven’t write a single word, I felt something was missing in me… and I started complaining and blaming all the circumstances and everything except me. But, the truth is there is no one to blame but yourself. You will always have the time to do what you love… even if sometimes it requires to sacrifice something else… instead of spending one hour in Facebook or go for a 3h long marathon of Grey’s Anatomy, go out and do that jog, take those photographs at sunset, write those ideas you had in mind all day, go cook that delicious meal you saw in the magazine, read the book full of dust on your night shelf, write that CV you want to send, learn that new language you’ve been wanting for so long, draw that image that’s been haunting for you for so long, practice that new song… One hour per day just for your passion, multiply it by seven… and imagine what can be achieved in 7h per week, 30h a month… it’s huge…

And never think at failure… you will fail often and you fail maybe everyday, but the real courage is to not stop trying. Always think at tomorrow as another chance! And someday you will conquer! Enough of expecting everything from somewhere else but from you. Enough with the self pity and no remorse for the past… what is done, it’s done… what it matters is the future, and that’s your path to build! Waiting for things to happen is just a waste of time. Destiny is written by those who take their time to write it!

Step in that rhythm and dance as long as possible because, someday arthritis will leave your body numb and Alzheimer…dumb!

What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Life begins where your comfort zone endsNeale Donald Walsch, I couldn’t have said it better.

Today is a special day for me. One of my problems is that that I remember a lot of weird anniversaries, like the time when I found my cat, first period, first kiss, first time I left the country, and among them I remember things like today, 12th of June, 2013, just 2 days after graduating Paris 8 University.

12th of June marks my first day in the pastry shop where I still work (unfortunately for my body…. It’s like letting an alcoholic working in a distillery in times of Prohibition). A summer job that was supposed to last for a couple of months, turned out to celebrate its first year.

I really can’t believe it’s been already one year. Time runs faster than Bolt, for the love of God!  My biggest problem? In less than one month I’ll turn 27… and what have I achieved till now? Besides getting married and have a pretty cool family…. not much. People keep telling me that having a family and a healthy smart little girl is already a good achievement! But I cannot look at my family as an achievement. First of all, because it’s not MY achievement, it’s OUR’S. It’s something we achieve together every day as a family. It’s not like I’m doing the job by myself. It’s a team work! 🙂 So, me achieving this… drop it… my husband has a lot more credits than I do, so, sorry…I’m not really that role model wife or mother. I just try to do my best, but there is always room for better! I do not consider an achievement. Maybe I’m wrong… who knows? Feel free to share your opinion…

Well, I’ll be 27 next month ( 3rd of July, to be more specific), and where am I? I have 2 University diplomas (Romanian and French) and all I can do with them is…… wipe my ass! I sell 0,95euro croissants! Only God knows how much I struggled to get in school, to stay in school, to have remarkable results and to finish with pride and joy! I’m young, I’m smart, I look pretty good, I wear a Primark dress as if it was designed especially for me by Chanel herself, I speak multiple languages, I’m punctual, I’m responsible and I have all the qualities an employer would wish. I could be an asset no matter where! And what do I do? I post pone every day the moment to search for a new job! I tell myself all the excuses in the world for not exploring my potential… and then I go crying that I can’t stand anymore the pastry shop! I wish I would put the question what the fuck is wrong with me, but unfortunately, I already know the answer… accepting it is another thing!

Yes, I am scared… and I am ready to admit I have become so weak I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’ve become a money slave and I’m afraid to take new challenges. There! I said it! ………………………… I actually feel good. Once said, it’s seems no more the end of the world! 🙂

Expand: the pastry shop offers me all the comfort a job could do: first of all, money. A sure and certain pay check at the end of every month makes me feel secure… comfortably! Second of all, the work itself… not much of a responsibilities, same thing every day, no fucking science to research…. Basically…Chinese work (as my best friend would say). Fortunately, China doesn’t have a lot of Internet access so they probably won’t see this joke so they can’t accuse me of anything 🙂 I like Chinese people as I like all the nationalities on this Earth, so no racist remark… just a funny one. Even a monkey could do what I do! And I could continue with a third thing and a fourth and so on like… the atmosphere with the boss and my colleague, the fact that I have fresh bread at home every day and other pastry products ( which brought me a lot of extra kilos) … But… there is no challenge! I learned everything that boutique could’ve taught me! From washing the dishes to calculating tax.

So, I asked myself… why am I still there? The answer is very simple. It doesn’t take long to see it: It is my comfort zone!

And now, the real question comes… how do you find the courage to leave your comfort zone?

What do you do when you don’t know what to do??

To be continued…

P.S. I actually found the quote on a follower’s blog… Thank you! You opened an important window in my brain! He needed the fresh air! See, nothing is casual… everything happens with a purpose!