What do you do when you don’t know what to do?

Life begins where your comfort zone endsNeale Donald Walsch, I couldn’t have said it better.

Today is a special day for me. One of my problems is that that I remember a lot of weird anniversaries, like the time when I found my cat, first period, first kiss, first time I left the country, and among them I remember things like today, 12th of June, 2013, just 2 days after graduating Paris 8 University.

12th of June marks my first day in the pastry shop where I still work (unfortunately for my body…. It’s like letting an alcoholic working in a distillery in times of Prohibition). A summer job that was supposed to last for a couple of months, turned out to celebrate its first year.

I really can’t believe it’s been already one year. Time runs faster than Bolt, for the love of God!  My biggest problem? In less than one month I’ll turn 27… and what have I achieved till now? Besides getting married and have a pretty cool family…. not much. People keep telling me that having a family and a healthy smart little girl is already a good achievement! But I cannot look at my family as an achievement. First of all, because it’s not MY achievement, it’s OUR’S. It’s something we achieve together every day as a family. It’s not like I’m doing the job by myself. It’s a team work! 🙂 So, me achieving this… drop it… my husband has a lot more credits than I do, so, sorry…I’m not really that role model wife or mother. I just try to do my best, but there is always room for better! I do not consider an achievement. Maybe I’m wrong… who knows? Feel free to share your opinion…

Well, I’ll be 27 next month ( 3rd of July, to be more specific), and where am I? I have 2 University diplomas (Romanian and French) and all I can do with them is…… wipe my ass! I sell 0,95euro croissants! Only God knows how much I struggled to get in school, to stay in school, to have remarkable results and to finish with pride and joy! I’m young, I’m smart, I look pretty good, I wear a Primark dress as if it was designed especially for me by Chanel herself, I speak multiple languages, I’m punctual, I’m responsible and I have all the qualities an employer would wish. I could be an asset no matter where! And what do I do? I post pone every day the moment to search for a new job! I tell myself all the excuses in the world for not exploring my potential… and then I go crying that I can’t stand anymore the pastry shop! I wish I would put the question what the fuck is wrong with me, but unfortunately, I already know the answer… accepting it is another thing!

Yes, I am scared… and I am ready to admit I have become so weak I don’t recognize myself anymore. I’ve become a money slave and I’m afraid to take new challenges. There! I said it! ………………………… I actually feel good. Once said, it’s seems no more the end of the world! 🙂

Expand: the pastry shop offers me all the comfort a job could do: first of all, money. A sure and certain pay check at the end of every month makes me feel secure… comfortably! Second of all, the work itself… not much of a responsibilities, same thing every day, no fucking science to research…. Basically…Chinese work (as my best friend would say). Fortunately, China doesn’t have a lot of Internet access so they probably won’t see this joke so they can’t accuse me of anything 🙂 I like Chinese people as I like all the nationalities on this Earth, so no racist remark… just a funny one. Even a monkey could do what I do! And I could continue with a third thing and a fourth and so on like… the atmosphere with the boss and my colleague, the fact that I have fresh bread at home every day and other pastry products ( which brought me a lot of extra kilos) … But… there is no challenge! I learned everything that boutique could’ve taught me! From washing the dishes to calculating tax.

So, I asked myself… why am I still there? The answer is very simple. It doesn’t take long to see it: It is my comfort zone!

And now, the real question comes… how do you find the courage to leave your comfort zone?

What do you do when you don’t know what to do??

To be continued…

P.S. I actually found the quote on a follower’s blog… Thank you! You opened an important window in my brain! He needed the fresh air! See, nothing is casual… everything happens with a purpose!

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