17

Orson Wells once said that you work hard all of your life to buy a sports car, but when you finally have it, you are too old and too fat to fit it!
Well, I think you noticed the message he wants to sends, if not, here’s my interpretation: we work, we work we work, most of the time we have a shitty job that we hate, but we still go on working… and we work extra hours, and on Saturdays and sometimes on Sundays and night shifts, and so on… And we spent less and less time at home, with the family, and God forbidden, with you! You seem that you have just the time for one shower and go straight to bed. We leave everything for tomorrow. Cook that healthy meal, read the book that hangs near your bed for months, play with the children, have sex with the partner, watch that movie you want to pirate for the past year, have a coffee outside, go for a jog, make a tri in your shoes……………….and these are just a few of the many examples I can provide right now… and why can’t we do all that? Why don’t we have the time? Why aren’t we capable for solving those To Do list that are waiting for month and years?? Why?

Why? Because of the money! Because money have taken control over our lives. Now, as always actually, everything depends on the money! Because making money leaves us no time to spend it!
I couldn’t have picked a more inspiring moment to write than right now. Imagine a mild storm outside, with the rain drops singing in my ear, just after watching a very inspiring documentary: Mike Tyson- my side of the truth. Well, what cannot I say, people surprise me more on more everyday. Who would’ve known Tyson is more than a brainless gorilla? He is actually not bad at all in the talker posture! Good for you, Mike 🙂

Oh my, it’s pouring outside… I’m loving it 🙂

So, I’ll let money aside for an instant, because we’re hanged up about money every day, so… tonight it’s about anything else but money. That introduction I made about the money was because I found that interesting quote of Welles while sorting my things out! Guess what? I’ve moved out from my mom’s place. I actually sleep in my own place! And I even cooked the first meal (maybe cooked it’s a bit big… fried some stuff would be more accurate 🙂 ) .

17. This is the number of how many times I’ve made my suitcase to move in the past 9 years. I’ve moved 17 times. 17 changes, 17 times when I thought that this time is gonna be home. 17 times of screwing my brains out! 17 times to try to make it look like home. 17 times of trying to feel like you belong there. 17 times of letting things behind… 17 new chances, 17 new beginnings, 17 hopes, 17 dreams, 17 first nights of fear…
You know that in this particular moment when I know for sure that everyone’s sleeping, I have the impression that someone is moving around… yeah, typically for a new house. I told you I’m living in a fuckin’ B class movie. It never rains like this in Paris with thunders and lightning… you don’t see this shit in Paris. And since yesterday, when I moved in, it’s been like the Adams Family around my block. What the fuck?? 🙂 So cliche my life sometimes… moving into a new home, storm outside… so this shit really exists:))

So, connection between money and me moving out from my mom’s?? Let’s say I wanted to stay under mamma’s skirt a bit longer. Taking advantage of not payin’ rent, not doin’ the dishes, not doin’ laundry, … not doin’ basically anything. And of course, not to mention having a full time baby sitter (sorry mom 🙂 ) Well, for some that would be heaven on Earth, no? Let’s think again. Living with you husband, with your 4 year old kid and your mother under the same roof. Living with a very stubborn husband, a highly energetic 4 year old and a very loud mother. Yeah, picture begins to change. Not that comfy? Imagine all that in a house of 1-2 persons max. And imagine you are me and you need your fucking precious moments of silence, of peace and quite! And you work all day long to make money, and you come home in a very loud place (me arguing mom, mom arguing my husband, my kid arguing with everyone)… and you are too tired to go out because tomorrow you work again, and the day after, and after…and for always. You have money to go out, but you are just too tired. And when you are not too tired you have to stay with the kid, because someone else is tired too… so…. You realize that you don’t know why you’re working… you don’t have any satisfaction… you’re not happy at work, you don’t have the time and the right conditions to be happy where you live… so you start wondering…what the fuck??? Something’s wrong in the equation!!! In the first place you think you wanna got out more, do more things… but you know no matter what you do, most of the times you just wanna chill in your crib! Just chill…The nest where you go to sleep every night must charge you just like you charge your smartphone everynight! Your smart ass must be charged also every night! Try charging an iPhone 5 with an old 3210i Nokia.

But what happens when you can’t chill in your crib?

I was very scared of movin’ out… I was scared financially, I was scared emotionally, and I was scared about all the new responsibilities… rent, laundry, dishes, etc 🙂 Not doing too much of these stuff for the past 4 years… hmmm, I feel a bit rusty:)

But… look at this moment… I’m not forced to lock myself in the bathroom in order to have a moment alone with my thoughts and write… I have my own separate kitchen where I can smoke freely a cigarette and sit at the table and write… without anyone being disturbed of my typing noise! I’m chillin’… just chillin’

The moral: Having your own crib it’s way more profitable than not paying rent, because chillin’ in peace and quiet it’s priceless!!!