I miss doing nothing and I miss doing everything

My home sky

I don’t know if it’s my bipolarity I think I have or the fact that today marks 2 years in Paris, or the fact that once again I’m gonna change the house where I live, but I’m feelin’ melancholic. Geez, I go too easy when I say melancholic. I feel like throwing myself in front of the train. I miss home… I miss stability, I miss being sure about tomorrow. I miss those days when rent was a word out of my vocabulary… I miss doing nothing and I miss doing everything I want.

I miss those long summer nights and the smell of the Queen of the Night flower in my grandma’s balcony. I miss those long walks with my best friends until the sunrise was sayin’ hello. I miss layin’ in bed until noon and go swimming at night. I miss the smell of a homemade apple pie and a fresh lemonade. I miss the heat melting my heart and I miss my heart being hot. I miss chasing my dreams and running to catch the stars! I miss the taste of one real tomato and the salty old cheese. I miss the freedom of childhood and I miss skipping school just to hang around… I miss the way I thought about life and I miss how life taught me around. I miss my years I have lost and I miss the time I had to lose. I miss me and I miss them…

I miss the morning sun shining above my window and I miss taking a nap if my eyes were closing. I miss the joy of a Kinder Surprise and I miss the taste of stolen apples. I miss how easy life was and I miss how hard school seemed to be. I miss being there and I miss wishing to be here! I miss the Sunday meals when we were all together and I miss the days when we missed each other. I miss the cherry blossom scent around the block and I miss the odor of the freshly cut lawn…

I miss hide and seek and I miss not hiding from those who seek. I miss the games we used to play and I miss not playin’ someone else’s game. I miss believing in my dreams and I miss not stopping to dream. I miss the way I saw myself and I miss not hating the self today. I miss having the courage to jump and I miss not livin’ on the edge. I miss belonging somewhere and I miss not being everywhere. I miss when everything was possible and I miss not the impossible.

I miss doing nothing I miss doing everything…