Happy New Year! January 1st! Still! It’s almost 11 p.m. so I’m trying to keep my promise to myself and start this project! I was sleepy and tired and there a lot of good movies running on TV, so basically, not in the mood to do this… but then, I stopped for a second and I thought (yeah, I know, that’s not too often) : I’m going to take advantage of this new full of shit beginning that’s turned crazy most of my Facebook friends. I can’t even reproduce the lame statuses I’ve read today. But in their stupidity they are actually right.
It’s like going to church and confess or telling your mom about a bad grade or other imaginary problems you think you have. After that, you feel eased. You can start over with your consciousness cleared. So I believe New Year gives the same feeling. At the beginning of each new year we write down our resolutions. I believe most of the time we think about ourselves as superheroes and the resolutions might be slight unrealistic. A thought has just crossed my mind. Why the fuck do I start to think at me as we??? This is the influence of all the shitty inspirational sites I’ve looked up lately. But, thank God, there was this good part that inspired me to write my own shitty inspirational stuff.
Yeah, about New Year’s resolutions… I have made a kilometric long list last year. 17 big points that some people don’t achieve in ten years maybe. And, of course, last week when I checked it out… I was disappointed. I managed to achieve only… 5. So, I get frustrated each and every time a year ends, plus that another one is adding to my age… I realize that time is the only stable thing in the world. He will do his job no matter what happens. He will pass.
But in the same time, every New Year washes up all that has happened last year. I feel relieved. I feel like a new born. I feel it as a new chance. The possibility to start over again. It’s a cycle. New Year it’s like Mondays. It’s always Monday that I want to begin something: reading a new book, cleaning my face off makeup before bed, and definitely it is Monday when I want to start a new diet. So New Year it’s like the king of all Mondays. It’s THE Monday. It’s funny. If you split Monday you’ll come up with Mon-day, like a frenglish word saying my day or mon jour.
I visualize all my frustrations buried with last year. What’s the use of crying over the spilled milk? On contrary, I should be glad that I could drink some of the milk in the bottle before it was spilled down. This is the thinking I would like to develop. It was not all a waste. I haven’t spilled all the milk. I drank some… I finished school, I got a job… not the great resolutions I had in mind, but everything is better than nothing. It’s weird. Yesterday I was so sad thinking about the New Year’s Eve and all the thing I haven’t done…but today I feel more optimistic. Yesterday was about ending and I don’t like endings. For example I love watching series, but I hate the endings, I get attached.
But today is about beginning. I’m sure there is an energy going on for New Year. I have less than 20 minutes till 1st of January ends so let’s see what can I write down as resolutions for 2014?
Even if it is THE most cliché thing in the world… losing weight would be my top head resolution as I still believe that losing weight could solve a lot of my problems. I know, I’m superficial. Who isn’t in this century?? The second one may be this auto-therapy-with-myself-which-could-turn-up-into-a-successful-writing-shit. I told you today I feel optimistic (at least until the point where I have to think what I’m wearing tomorrow at work to feel thin and beautiful in spite of the high number of kg my balance is showing, and my happy world will crash in a zip). I need a third one because 3 is a much prettier number than 2, so 3rd stuff: get another job, maybe? Yeah, that’s big… it fits among resolutions!
Having all said, my sense of reality is telling me that I should get my 4 hour sleep before the 11 hour day work that is tomorrow.
So, goodbye 2013! Welcome 2014! /